One sentence sums up the struggle lesbians face with online dating
When it comes to lesbian online dating, the general premise is the same as usual - see photos, scroll through profiles, swipe or message when intrigued.
Some women who love women also love "girly" things. This contradicts the stereotype of who is gay.
Lesbians are here not being seen as a woman - who - loves - women is not only invalidating, it's frustrating. Not all lesbians are butch or masculine.
Pretty lesbians has to come out "a lot" daily, because people don't understand why someone so pretty or beautiful would be gay. When you go to gay bars, some assume you are there because you are either lost or just tagging along with a friend who is a lesbian. What is worst , is others except you to be inexperience , pillow. You know what you want, so what does being pretty or beautiful have to do with who you are attracted to? It doesn't.
What's worst is when men say you are not a lesbian, "You just haven't been with the right man." Presumably them. Ugh!
Unfortunately, you may be objectified by not only straight folks , but other lesbians.
Women, (regardless of their sexual orientation) are targets for sexism. If you are lesbian, it makes the bulls eye even bigger. Pretty or beautiful women face objectification by the larger word, "You like girls? That's hot!" At times, little acceptance by lesbian folks, "No way she's gay!" For some being super femme/pretty and lesbian for whatever reason is a contradiction. It can read as an unspoken invitation for awkward and offensive questions and comments.
Super Femme/Pretty and Lesbian
Wost of all, recieving solicitations for threesomes.
The solution? Just keep on being your super femme/pretty lesbian self. If you want to find love for life or just for a night, It's up to you. Stop questioning yourself and go after for what you want!
But the responses lesbians can expect have a distinct flavor to them, one that can be summed up a little like this: "Hi sexy, into couples?"
While sites for American women seeking women exsist , there is not enough "safe spaces" specific to the deverse range of queer women's interest.
There is nothing rewarding or complimentary about being seen as an object for another person's one - way gratification.
Let's face it , women can be just as nervous about approaching women they are interested in as men . So it's less scary approaching someone you are 99.9% sure is Lesbian?